A Quiet Growing Time
“In this time of extraordinary pressure, educational and social, perhaps a mothers first duty to her children is to secure for them a quiet growing time, a full six years of passive receptive life, the waking part of it spent for the most part out in the fresh air. And this, not for the gain in bodily health alone––body and soul, heart and mind, are nourished with food convenient for them when the children are let alone, let to live without friction and without stimulus amongst happy influences which incline them to be good.”
I had to play “eenie meenie miney mo” between names for this blog post. It was a toss up between “A Quiet Growing Time”, “The Younger Years”, and “Masterly Inactivity” because all of those phrases really sum up childhood how Charlotte Mason describes it. But I digress…
Imagine! Charlotte Mason said well over 100 years ago that she lived in a time of “extraordinary pressure, educational and social.” I grimace to wonder what she would have thought of the age that we are all raising our kids in now. I needn’t give a modern day list of things that are applying this pressure, I think we all know many of them and this blog post would be too long if we dug into that topic. Let us then assume the battle that we are all fighting to secure this quiet growing time for our children. (I recently read Ginny Yurich’s new book Until the Streetlights Come On–I definitely recommend for this subject!)
Anyways, I decided to title this A Quiet Growing Time so that we can talk about each in its turn and break down some of the ways I have (and am still using) the first 6 years of my 2 boys lives (ages 4 and 6) to prepare us—for formal schooling yes, but even more so for a full and beautiful life even outside of school.
Quiet:
“…a full six years of passive receptive life…”
We KNOW how much noise there is in childhood because it starts the moment we find out we’re pregnant right? “Do this, don’t do this, go here, go there, you’ll ruin them if you do/don’t do fill-in-the-blank.” All that parenthood noise translates to childhood noise if we aren’t setting firm boundaries around what we allow into our space. Charlotte Mason advocated for no formal lessons until at least age 6, sometimes waiting even longer. I believe this is an integral part of what she means when she says “quiet”. No lectures, no sit down at the table lessons, no forcing, no tears (at least about learning). This does not equate to no learning! Young children are hard-wired to learn, and from my experience, when they are quietly put in the way of things worth observing they will do all the hard work themselves to find out exactly what they want to know. The only thing they really need from us is to give them the quiet and space. That’s the passive/quiet part. Because this goes so much against the grain of modern society (ie, extraordinary educational and social pressure) this might not come naturally, but with practice and intentionality it can quickly become second nature.
The “receptive” part is inborn! Receptive literally means “having the quality of receiving, taking in”. Kids are sponges, we know this don’t we? How many times have I wondered myself where my boys learned something from–I didn’t teach them that! This morning during lessons I looked over to see my 4 year old copying his big brother and practicing his letters on a piece of paper. He very clearly copied a book title we had out on the table. All he needed was some quiet observing in a positive atmosphere for his inborn receptive nature to take hold. Little kids don’t need us in order to learn, they just need quiet.
Growing:
“And this, not for the gain in bodily health alone––body and soul, heart and mind, are nourished…”
I’m going to keep this section very brief. There is a feast of incredible research backed books and content detailing the innumerable ways that child-directed play is critical for growing little bodies and minds. I will leave a list of books I’ve loved for further research at the end of this blog. Running outside, playing, jumping, swinging, imaginary play, laying on their tummies in the sand to watch ants, balancing across logs, building, creating, pushing their boundaries, exploring thoroughly anything they come across is what this time is about! It is our job to make sure they come across good things and that they have the quiet and time to do so which leads us into…
Time:
The first year of parenthood drags by with blurs of diapers and milk and hazy memories of milestones—first smile, rolling over, first steps and so on. I think once we reach toddlerhood the demand on time really doubles down in earnest with events and activities—there is not a moment to spare, they must be educated! If, per Charlotte Mason’s recommendations, we aren’t enrolled in preschool, all the extra curriculars and kindergarten, and we’re not sitting down to lessons everyday, the question is, how are we to spend the time? 6 whole years of time according to CM.
“We ought to do so much for our children, and are able to do so much for them, that we begin to think everything rests with us and that we should never intermit for a moment our conscious action on the young minds and hearts about us. Our endeavours become fussy and restless. We are too much with our children, ‘late and soon.’ We try to dominate them too much, even when we fail to govern, and we are unable to perceive that wise and purposeful letting alone is the best part of education”
*Exhale* WOW I love this concept! Wise and purposeful letting alone is how we spend the first 6 years. But what does that even mean? I think a big part of what CM calls masterly inactivity is about discipline, however here are some other ways I’ve translated this idea into my own journey.
(Disclaimer: of course every life is unique and our circumstances will vary, however I hope that you may find some useful ideas that you can translate into your own beautifully unique circumstances.)
First and foremost, I am not the entertainer. Yes, I love spending time with my kids. We are outdoors together, they help me with chores and cooking, we paint and do little activities together, but this is more because I have my own projects that they see me doing and want to join in on themselves: mommy is drawing/baking/gardening etc and so I also want to. Our time together is not with me in the role of entertainer. Stepping out of the idea that kids need constant entertainment (aka letting them alone) is giving them the gift of time to pursue what they want to on their own.
Outside time. CM says that the waking part of the first years should mostly be spent outside. I live in Northern Michigan and it is absolutely gorgeous here. We also boast about half a year of what we might delicately call “inclement weather”. I loved the book There’s No Such Thing as Bad Weather on this topic. It taught me how to view outside time a little differently and at the very least how to dress my kids so that mud/rain/snow and so on doesn’t deter us from getting outside as much as possible. We love nature hikes, beach time, time at the park and so on, but what I love the most is backyard time. The time they spend completely on their own (supervised more when they were really little) how they see fit: catching bugs, watching ants, digging holes to nowhere, making little forts, playing knights or indians and so on. This free outdoor play without a destination or any other design upon it has been integral for my boys gaining confidence and independence–so important in the learning process!
“Wise and Purposeful.” I see this part as discernment on the parent’s part. We are guarding this space, we are allowing for quiet, we are supplying our young kids with time, and now, what do we allow into this time? The answer for this question is dependent on you and your circumstances and own convictions. The answer is simply to be purposeful.
I’d love to share some resources that I’ve found very helpful in helping formulate my ideas and practices around this early parenthood journey:
Books:
Until the Streetlights Come On by Ginny Yurich
Modern Miss Mason by Leah Boden
For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay
There’s No Such Thing as Bad Weather by Linda Åkeson McGurk
Honey for a Child’s Heart
Home Education by Charlotte Mason
Podcasts/Other:
The 1000 Hours Outdoors Podcast
A Delectable Education Podcast
Venture Homeschooling Podcast (I was actually featured in an episode about the early years recently! Listen to Part 1 and Part 2)
Attending Awaken Living Books Conferences! Note: I started attending 2 years before we actually started formal lessons and they have really spurred me on in formulating my ideas around what I wanted the early years to look like for us!
